I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
