oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
