you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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