Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
