oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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