So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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