I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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