Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
