There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
