good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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