So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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