Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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