Well apparently he's into motor boating.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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