I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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