is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
