oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
