You really coming over, don't trick.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
