I love black thongs
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
