Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
