i think my tv is drunk
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
