Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
