one might say we're banned from that church
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
