Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
high people should be assigned attendants
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
