Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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