If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Nobody cheats on THIS.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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