Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have already put on my inside pants.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
