we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
