I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
