i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well you can't waste a boner
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
