I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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