i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
