So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
