so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
