the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
