Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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