What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
