My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
