butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
