Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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