We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
