and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
