I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
