I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
