high people should be assigned attendants
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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