I didn't shave. On purpose
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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