I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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