How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My cat gives me a boner
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
