I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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