Can i not drive my cunt home
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
