i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
