Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
