I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
