he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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