The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
