I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
This house was built for laser tag.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
