Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
