my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
