ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
