Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
