Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
