and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
