I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
