yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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