4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
